Making the decision to let one of your team members go can be the most gut-retching task you have to do as a leader. It’s not easy for anyone and you can feel like a failure – but YOU have to do it.
While it is never easy to come to the point of having to let someone go, it must be done. This is a conversation that all leaders will have to face at some point or another. It can be the most difficult thing you have to do. Expect It to take a toll on you emotionally and sometimes physically. It is not something that we go into lightly and it significantly impacts not only the person being let go, but you as well. You may feel like you have failed and have self -doubt that “if I had only done a little more, the situation could have turned out differently…”
I’ve been on both sides of the table in letting people go – every time I’ve been involved, I’ve learned something and gone through a range of emotions both before and after the meeting.
Here are some things I’ve learned along the way.
- There is a build-up whether it is a formal Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) or some other method where you are coaching to improve performance.
- You have to do it – you are the front-line leader – you will gain the respect of not only the person leaving but also the rest of your team. Don’t meet alone, have HR present or your boss.
- Stick to the facts during the meeting, the decision has been made and you must carry it out. Make sure to do you homework and prepare both intellectually and emotionally.
- Keep the meeting brief and to the point – offer to help in any capacity you are able. Do not argue – receive the feedback and let the person vent.
- Provide them with info in written form – you may have to review the separation package with them, or you may be able to leave that with HR.
- Give yourself time to process what happened – it will take a toll on you, expect it and prepare yourself. Letting someone go is not easy and it shouldn’t be.
Letting someone go is rarely a spur of the moment event. It can happen when businesses are struggling financially, and you have to reduce headcount. However, even in those situations, you as the leader know your teams’ individual skills and contributions – who’s getting the job done and who is not. Overall economics will come into play in determining how selections are made. You know which team members are delivering significantly more than others.
There is a build-up – typically it’s not surprise
If you are working on a performance improvement plan with someone you have an opportunity to help, get them back to meeting expectations. Use the time wisely and focus on helping them achieve expectations – I’ll cover PIP’s more in depth in a future episode. The shorthand version is “up or out”, and it can be positive for both parties no matter which direction it goes. The bottom line is the letting go conversation should not be a surprise if you are working closely with your team and you are aware of their performance.
You have to be the one to tell them
You have to do it – every leader gets to the point where they have to let someone go. It is defining point in your leadership journey. How you handle the situation, what you learn and what you do differently are critical parts of your development. If you have an HR department, make sure they are with you and they may be able to cover the details for the person. However, I strongly believe that you have to deliver the message – period. If you don’t have someone to go with you, try to do it in a public place. It’s not ideal, but you also have to think about your safety as you don’t know how someone may react. Personally, when working with Salespeople in the field – I’ve had to conduct these meetings in a hotel lobby. If you are in public, find a quiet spot and conduct the meeting just as you would any meeting. Make sure you have a plan to leave immediately after the meeting, you don’t need to be around as the person processes what happened.
Keep it simple – just the facts
Stick to the facts – deliver them in a straightforward and kind manner, you don’t want this to be confrontational. You have to be firm and deliver the information with confidence and authority. Don’t offer excuses or get into details. Unfortunately, in the end this is a business decision that you have to carry out. It is better for both parties to move on, once the decision has been made.
Keep it short and straightforward
The meeting itself should be brief and to point – you don’t need to go into long explanations or discuss the decision-making process. You should deliver the message, share the information allow the person to process for a few minutes, make sure they are okay and then you need to leave.
Give them a hard copy – they will appreciate it later
It’s a good idea to provide all the information you can in hard copy, for a couple of reasons. You are giving them something tangible and make sure it has everything they need to know about the next steps. You’ve just told them they’ve lost their job – whether expected or not, they are not listening to what you are saying about next steps. By providing them a copy they can process at a later time and have the necessary information they need. To me it’s important to make sure you’ve done all you can to take of them at this tough time. They will appreciate later when they have the chance to carefully review the material.
It will take a toll on you – give yourself some time
After you have left the meeting, give yourself time to process what just happened. It is an emotional situation for you, and you may feel like you have failed as a leader. That’s normal, we’re human and can’t help but react to the strong emotions of what we have had to do… I would be more concerned if you didn’t feel anything in having to let someone go. Give yourself time to think about how you can improve your leadership. Realize it’s not your fault and it has to be done for the benefit of the person, the team and your business. It may sound cold and heartless, but it is business, and we have to keep moving forward. How you handle letting someone go is a growth opportunity for you as a leader and it will change your leadership perspective. You may be surprised at how things change in the future for both of you. In my experience, I’ve had someone let me know that letting them go was the kick in the butt they needed (the best feedback ever as a leader!). In my own firing, I used the time to learn from it and it changed the future direction of my life. It is one of the reasons I started my coaching practice and I have had the chance to let my former boss know how it impacted me and thanked her for it.
In person if you can – be mindful of what the camera sees
I recommend you conduct the meeting in person, if at all possible. However, if you can’t and have to do it remotely – the same suggestions apply for the most part. Make sure to be mindful of your facial expressions and your tone of voice on camera. You need to project a calm, confident and kind demeanor and keep your eyes on the camera. You can provide the information in an email, so they have it available to them.
Breaking up or letting people go is not easy – these suggestions may help you grow in your leadership. Remember, there is always a build up to the meeting, you have to do it! stick to the facts, keep the meeting brief and to the point, provide a hard copy and give yourself time to process.
What do you think?
I would love to answer your questions or provide feedback on your comments. You can
connect with me online, at www.danromani.com
Check out my podcast – The Revenue Alchemist on Spotify, iTunes or Substack
Dan Romani is the founder of Dan Romani Business Coaching, where we work with new
leaders to help them overcome the challenge to succeed. Over 60% of new leaders fail in
their first 2 years – that’s where we can help. If you’re ready to excel at being a new leader,
then stay tuned. We’ll talk about it and share ideas as well as tips for becoming the leader
you want to be.